The Rebuttal

Australia, and indeed the world, is not designed for deaf people and it isn’t designed for people with a disability either. Sometimes I think that hearing people want the world to remain the same. For whatever reason some hearing people want to maintain their control over deaf people. They have little tricks to maintain that control. Sometimes hearing people’s controlling behavior is deliberate. Sometimes it is not, it just happens from habit and they do not realise that they are controlling. Whatever, there are some hearing people that just want to maintain control and keep deaf people in their place. To do this there are tricks that hearing people play.

This controlling behaviour starts early, in childhood. Let me explain. As a boy I lost my hearing around the ages of 8 or 9. When I lost my hearing the behaviour of my friends changed. For example, they would come up to me and force me to lipread them. They would say things like, “Gary, are you a poof?” Or “Gary, do you love Peter?”. They would say things behind my back and I would look around and all the kids around me would be laughing, I had no idea why. This is why I think the attitude that hearing is superior to deaf starts in childhood. Sure, parents might teach them different behaviours and the attitude of some of these kids might change over time. Either way, during childhood there can be a strong belief that hearing is superior to being deaf that probably carries over to adulthood.

Many deaf people around the world would be familiar with Dinner Table Syndrome. This is where there are family gatherings, perhaps for birthdays or Christmas, and everyone around the dinner table is hearing except for the one deaf person. This is true for probably 95% of deaf people who are born into hearing families. We all have experience of everyone chatting away and not knowing what the hearing people are talking about. Or when everyone laughs and you are the only one that is not laughing. This is why I often steal away in hearing gatherings and read a book or watch a movie by myself.

Sometimes we try to find out why people are laughing only to receive responses like this – “I’ll tell you later.” “It’s not important.” “Don’t worry, it was not really funny.” It is infuriating because what right do these hearing people have to decide what is important, funny, not funny etc and just decide what is important to tell us deaf people. Consciously or unconsciously, it is just another way that hearing people control deaf people and assert their superiority. It is a trick that hearing people play.

But last year it was different. At Christmas I brought along my iPad and set up the automatic captioning. I could get the gist of what people were talking about. There was a conversation going on about wine. Another about children, someone was talking about childcare and another was explaining their health challenges. For the first time for a long time, I felt included.

So I was sitting their with my iPad, my wife was next to me. Someone started talking about a family issue. And then the caption came up. “Don’t tell Marnie, it will upset her.” My wife was furious, and rightly so. Here we were and hearing people were just talking about us as if we were not there. It probably happened all the time. We would never have known. These hearing people seemed to think that they had a right to just talk about us as if we were not there. What an absolute abuse of power. What absolute disrespect. Just another trick that hearing people play to keep deaf people in their place.

I am a Deaf Professional. I have worked with hearing people for many years. I have meetings where I use interpreters or I use captioning. These meetings must have some control. If everyone speaks at once, the interpreter and captioner can not provide me with accurate information. I have many years of experience that I like to contribute to these meetings. Often I cannot because everyone is speaking at once and so fast that I can’t get a word in. I am forever asking people in meetings to slow down or speak one at a time. They will do so for a time and then often just revert to type. It’s frustrating and belittling that many of these people just will not take responsibility. It is just another way that they assert their power. Another trick that hearing people play.

Many years ago I was on the Board for an old and reputable deaf organisation. We were in the middle of a Board meeting. Often I had to tell the Board to not all talk at once. I had to remind them that when they did so that the interpreters struggled and it made it hard for me to participate. It made no difference. Meeting after meeting they did the same thing. Until finally I snapped. I thumped the table and reminded the Board members that this was a deaf organisation that had been around for almost 150 years. I reminded them that they all knew the barriers and needs of deaf people and that their conduct was disrespectful and unacceptable. I told them that they should be ashamed of themselves.

To this one male member piped up. He said, ” Gary, if you’re not understanding us, just ask for clarification.” I lost it. How dare he talk to me like a child. I told him not to patronise me. I told him to take responsibility and not expect everything to fall on to me. I told him his comment was disgraceful. Boy, was I angry. But again, this is just an example of what hearing people do to belittle deaf people and absolve themselves of any responsibility. Tricks that hearing people play!

There are many deaf people like me that have spent decades advocating for change. We have to constantly challenge and request improvements and change. When we do this we are sometimes listened to and respected, Sometimes the changes we request are made. We have wins. Often we are dismissed and ignored. Just another way for hearing people to maintain their control.

Recently I heard a story from a deaf advocate. They had approached a reputable advocacy organisation. Led by a hearing person, who else. They were trying to address issues with the National Relay Service, (NRS). They pointed out that the NRS registration was unfair and discriminatory. They pointed out that sometimes the waiting time to be connected was not acceptable. They pointed out that sometimes calls dropped out. There needed to be improvements. The response from the hearing advocate – “There is nothing wrong with the NRS!” The advocate just completely dismissed the concerns of deaf people. That there is control. That there is disrespect. Just another trick that hearing people play.

But it gets worse. The same person raised issues for deaf people in rural and remote areas. Like in Central Australia where services are few and far between. The deaf person wanted action to bring awareness of the lack of services and supports, What was the response of this arrogant and incompetent hearing advocate? “These people will come to realise that if they want the services that they need, they will have to move to the city.” Case dismissed. Power maintained. Just another trick that hearing people play.

Really, deaf people and people with disabilities all over Australia want change and they want equal access. They have some good allies. People with the right attitude who want deaf people and people with disabilities to get positive change and better access. But, there are other hearing and non-disabled that don’t want this change to happen. Why? I am not sure. Maybe it is because they do not want to change their behaviour. Maybe it is because their behaviour is just a habit. Maybe it is because they truly want to maintain control. Or maybe, probably the main reason, they just don’t want to spend extra money to make changes.

So, these people have tricks that they use for control. These tricks keep deaf people in their place. In this article I have described some of the ticks that they use for control. The tricks that hearing people play to control YOU – the deaf person. Don’t let them!!