Do hearing people really rule the world. You know those people that talk endlessly on their phones. Listen to music. Man (person) receptions. Look after our money. All of our politicians. Most of our CEOs etc. Do they really rule the world? After the week I have had you can only ask – How the fuck?
I have never really been into hearing bashing. They are nice people, mostly. Indeed many of them are my friends. My children are hearing, sorry about that fellas! Hearing people try hard, they really do. Some are even helpful. But these last few weeks they have been an absolute clusterfuck.
You see I am buying a house with my Super funds. It is a bit of a dream home. I can retire in a few years and move in. I discovered that I have a very healthy Super fund so decided to self manage some of it. Buy the house of my dreams with Super. Have the rent accumulate for a few years —- $25 000 a year rent … Nice little retirement addition. Meanwhile realestate increases in value. When I retire sell my current home. Cash goes to paying a small loan on the new house so I can get tax breaks. And a Nice little profit. Dreamy. But then those bloody hearing people got involved.
It started with the broker. Broker applying for a small loan for me for those tax breaks. Gets told to please email me. Asks me for some info – You know ID, Super statements, payslips and the like. I oblige and then Christmas comes, everything shuts down – All good.
The new year comes. Finance approval is written into the contract. Must be settled by a certain date etc. It’s getting closer to the date. A little worried I emailed the broker, who knows I am deaf, asking if anything more is needed. Next day he rings me on the phone. He passed University this guy, so I assume he has a smattering of ability. So this number comes up, I search it on Google (Cos I am a good problem solver like that) and woe and betide, it’s the broker.
I resist the urge to email him and call him a Wally. Instead I send him a nice email and say please don’t call I am deaf, please email as should be noted on file. So a day or so later he emails asking me for documents. Most I have already sent him. I remind him of this but send them again.
So, it looks good. Finance approval date is coming closer. Next day actually. And what happens? He rings me. This time I am a little less patient. I firmly, but still nicely, ask him to please email as calling is pointless. He emails me and asks me again for yet more documents, many I have already sent him.
This time I hit the roof. I point out that the finance date will lapse and it’s his fault. I point out he keeps ringing and he needs to email as he is wasting valuable time. I point out he already has most of the documents he has asked for and I ask why the hell he could not have asked for all the documents at the start, not in this pish posh, mish mash way. (Yes, I used those words.)
So, he emails back. Good fellow, he has finally learnt. He emails back and says sorry, and I quote, ” .. I am sure you can appreciate it is difficult to communicate effectively with a deaf person.” By this time my patience is fully exhausted. I tell him that I beg to differ and rather that it’s bloody difficult to communicate with hearing people who can’t take a few seconds to email a question. God grant me strength.
But anyway, we needed to ask for an extension. This needed to go through my conveyancer. My conveyancer has known me a few years having handled the purchase of my current house. So we need them to liaise with the vendor so that we can amend the contract.
Conveyancer, bless their cotton socks, rings me. I go through the routine, Google the number and affirm that it’s the conveyancer. Politely, I remind the Conveyancer that I am deaf and it should be noted on the file. She emails back and apologises, “No one told me.” she says in her defence. I resist the temptation to email back and recommend that she, “Read the fucking files.” Instead I say, “Please note it on file so that this does not occur again.” Two days later she rings me, then emails me, “Sorry I forgot.”
And it should have ended there but it didn’t. You see the person responsible for organising the rollover to my self managed fund (Who communicates beautifully by email by the way) sent the Super fund the wrong form. So the Super fund, who also have on file that I am deaf, ring me … No, I am not joking.
As it stands now, we are requesting a second extension because the broker took too long in getting the documents in. The vendor of the property I am purchasing is understandably antsy because they have their own property to settle.
Meanwhile, the people involved are fighting amongst themselves and blaming each other for the delays. As I type this my phone has just rung and this time Google tells me its the real estate agent. FUCK!
And these people run our world – We are doomed!!!