The Human Wronged Awards

Welcome to the Human Wronged Awards for Accessible Cinema for the Deaf. Nominees for these prestigious awards have been chosen for the sterling efforts to wrong deaf people in their fight for access to the cinema. Yes that life long past time of going to the movies, enjoying the show, eating bad pop corn and spilling your drink on your unfortunate partner is being denied the deaf. Not only that, romance is dead. Deaf cinema goers must somehow navigate their way around a bendy armed alien for a simple snog. Simply leaning over for a snog is likely to lead to tangles and even having ones eye poked out. Meanwhile chiropractors all over Australia have bought shares in the Big4 Cinemas. Never before have they seen so many stiff necks and headaches requiring treatment. Chiropractors all over Australia see the word CaptiView and rub their hands with glee.

But we are not here to chat we are here to celebrate the Human Wronged Awards for Accessible Cinema for the Deaf. With out further adieu I will announce the winners. As each winner is announced applaud loudly and thank your lucky stars for DVD and Blue Ray.

And the winner of the Honorary Deaf Person Award goes to the Disability Commissioner… GRAEME INNES … Graeme Innes come on doooowwwwwwn.  This award is to honour the person that most thinks like a deaf person. Graeme, of course, has been a champion of CaptiView. All over Australia Graeme has been congratulating the cinemas on the roll-out of CaptiView. In the newspapers, on Twitter, On Facebook and to whoever will listen Graeme has been promoting the fabulous benefits and access CaptiView has given to deaf people. Of Course Graeme, not being deaf, would have no clue as to the type of access CaptiView provides. BUT no matter, even though the deaf have told him almost as one they hate CaptiView, he is all knowing. There can be no more deserving winner of this award than GRAEME INNES – Give it up for DEAF GRAEME INNES one more time!

And wasn’t he a deserving winner. Moving right along let us move to our next sparkling award. This award, The Sieve Award, goes to the organisation that provides us with such inaccurate information about what is possible with captions in the cinema. The winner of this award has demonstrated an outstanding capacity to provide information in drips and so selectively that Sherlock Homes himself would struggle to get to the truth. First it was captions with Doremi were only possible with CaptiView. Then it was there are other captioning options but CaptiView is best. Then it was Open Captions are not possible, its CaptiView or nothing. Then it was Open Captions are possible but they’re bloody expensive. Then having found out that you could actually use the same caption file used for CaptiView to get Captions ON THE SCREEN they informed all that captions are an evolving process. Never was there any intention to mislead they say, even though they sent us all up the Garden path and beyond. We should never forget this pearl of wisdom that they provided – the deaf will take anything so long as there are words on screen. The Sieve Award honours such brilliant provision of inaccurate and misleading information, intentional or unintentional. There can only be ONE WINNER and we are hounoured to present this award to MEYDYA AGGSESS ORRZYTRALLLIIIIIIIAAAA …. COME ON DOWN!

Oh deary me, arn’t you just dizzy from all this excitement?

Our next award is the award that you have all been waiting for It is the Golden Logie, the Best Actor, the World Cup of the Human Wronged Awards.  DRUUUUMMMMM ROOOLLLLLL … This award is the YOU ALL KNOW NOTHING AWARD. Oh yes, the winners of this award will go down in history as having told the deaf that they are all ignorant. That they do not know what is best for them. That CaptiView is best. That spending 2 million on a white elephant is nothing. When 500 people loudly told them that the Cinemas were offering naff all they told 500 people they WERE WRONG. Screams and cries to be represented were ignored. SIT DOWN SHUT UP AND LET US DO OUR JOB they said. What would us savages know? Nothing, of course.  AND THE WINNER IS ….. There are actually two of them, OH MY GOD IT’S A TIE, how astonishing is this, the winners are …….. Oh they can not be named????… But we all know who they are don’t we? GIVE IT UP for them!!!  Oh come one now surely you can do better than that? Not even finger tappies? Oh alright then. Moving right along.

And our final award is the RICH GET RICHER AWARD!!! What a fitting way to end the night. There can be no better way to finish the night than to present the award for the filthy rich who just get richer. Rich they maybe but apathy is the game. Do they care? Not one IOTA … What are they providing?… As little as possible .. Do they listen? No for they are the real deaf in all this. Will they ever take 3 million deaf people and their associates seriously? When hell freezes over. There is no surprise here .. It pisses us off no end to present this award to filthy rich and getting richer the BIG 4 CINEMAS!!!!  WOOOO HOOOOOOOOOO!

Now go buy the DVD, its the only way you’ll enjoy the movie! (The Big 4 will love you for it, they probably have shares in the DVD distributor companies.)

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5 thoughts on “The Human Wronged Awards

  1. It’s very disappointing that they have won this award for doing the “bare minimum” under what now stacks up as a very poorly designed cinema rollout plan, which had very little in the way of stretch targets for the big-4 cinemas.

    Notwithstanding that many Deaf hate the CaptiView device, don’t forget that there’s also many Deaf (like myself) who can use Captiview and don’t mind it, even if its more stressful etc.

    But even I am now getting very impatient with the slow pace of the rollout when the USA are covering 100% of their screens from the outset, while we are just doing 2-3 screens out of 12-15 screens at the larger complexes.

    It’s also incredibly frustrating to hear the terrible “war stories” of Deaf Captiview customers are still continuing even though the rollout has now had ample time to remedy them.

    Finally, how is the (still) very limited choice of films with Captiview so much better than the limited choice of open captioned films that we had before that it merited an award

  2. You are right Michael … And it’s the constant spin and lack of real response to concerns that is angering people … As always your moderate perspective balances my more cynical approach 😀 … Thanks
    What I also don’t get is how a business can treat such a potentially big market with such absolute contempt. I can’t imagine any other business rolling out a product with so little market testing …. Too many loathe this product for it to be viable … On these pages you are one of only four I know that think its viable. That in itself is fine but now that we know we were fed spin and even lies it just makes people angry.

  3. Yes Michael it is a point well made, and previously made by Miranda that for some people Captiview is anywhere from bearable to good. I don’t actually loathe Captiview per se. My feelings are more disapointment that it just isnt viable for me as a way to see English dialogue movies. I suppose that is because I had good hearing for most of my life and waaay back, I loved going to the movies. Even as a kid I used to see about one a week and then expanded once I was working and could get to more. I associate movies with mental stimulation and enjoyment and Captiview just doesnt deliver an expereince that is enjoyable so, although I could go in there and look back and forth, why would I want to? So I’m happy that others find it worthwhile but I would like to see more options – I’m keen on trying those Sony glasses that we saw, and I like RWC as I like the way the captions can be superimposed on the screen. I’m annoyed that the need to keep other options on the table isnt being fought for by our reps and that in fact, both they and now the AHRC seem to have little respect for the views beign expressed here. There should have been a collective deaf/Hi effort on this. the fact the cinemas have now been given a Human Rights Award in full view of the facts, is a reflection on how all of this division has reflected on all deaf/Hi people nationwide.

  4. The problem is Karen that the “Reps” that they listened too, who they often refet to in their answers to questions – “Our advbice from the peaks is ….” Went against the grain of the community voice. Although there were some, like Michael and Miranda who found CaptiView ok the big voice was that CaptiView was denying access too many.
    Initial responses when this was brought to the attention of ACAG was that this voice was the minority and that the peaks advised that most liked it. Later this changed to “reaction is mixed” .. A kind of acknowledgemenet but there is a stubborn refusal to consider anything else.
    Sony Glasses wont come because they have been shut out of the market. RWC wont come because the Cinemas have made their investment in the cvheapest option and they wont consider anything else for a long time.
    The peaks unfortnately were played a fine tune by the Cinemas and the Government and must take a large part of the responsibility for this sorry mess. Especially as it is the second time they have ignored the community voice. The first being when the original exemption applicationwas submitted back in 2009.

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