I love a night at the movies. I get all dressed up to the nines. Put on my lippy and my heels and look the part. After all it is the MOVIES …  You get to meet Brad Pitt and any other number of dishy men, you simply have to look the part.

I went to the movies a couple of months ago. I spent a great deal of time getting ready. It”s lucky I went to dinner beforehand because otherwise the afternoon would have been a complete waste. It was Brad this particular night, and Brad REALLLY  gets me going. Those eyes, that smile … That Anjelina has no idea how lucky she is!! But I arrived all excited … And the movie that was advertised was not on. It had been shown in an earlier time slot apparently. I WAS SOOOOO UPSET.

I wondered if perhaps I had made a mistake so I went to the newsagent and brought the paper. There, right before my very eyes, was the time … 2pm it said  not 10 am. Well I can tell you, I was not impressed at ALL!  I marched right back to the cinema to complain.  I had missed Brad and there would be hell to pay. I walked right in and demanded to see the manager.

And the manager, bless his soul flashed me the most patronising of smiles.  “How can i help you”,  he beamed from ear to ear. I put the newspaper in front of him, pointed to the advertisement, asked him to tell me  what time the captioned movie had been advertised. He said,  “It says 2pm – did you arrive late”,  all said with his irritating smile.

I told the manager that I had not, that I had arrived with half an hour to spare, (One simply does not arrive late for Brad.) “So what is the problem?” he asked. I pointed out to him that the promised captioned movie was not on as advertised. “Oh, Ill just check that for you.” And still that smile had not left his face. It was with great difficulty that I prevented myself from smacking him in the face with my hand bag.

He returned some 15 minutes later. To his credit the smile had been removed from his face. He was very apologetic. He stated that the normal time was 2pm, but this particular week the time had been changed. The newspaper had been informed but had neglected to change the time at the going to print. It was, he said, “.. completely out of my control.”

In my most sweet and sinister voice I told him that I had travelled 30 kms to arrive at the cinema because there is no other cinema that provides captions. I pointed out that I  had but one session to attend per week, unlike some people that had several per day that they can chose from. I pointed out that  my travel  had come at considerable cost and perhaps his cinema would like to reimburse me for the error. He replied that he was unable to do that but could offer free tickets to the next showing. I pointed out that the next captioned showing was, in fact, of a different movie. And do you know what he said with his beaming smile again in place – “Don’t worry, it will come out on DVD and I am sure it will have captions.”

Now at that point I should have hit him. it would have given me great pleasure. But for the first time in my life I found myself at loss for words.  He muttered that he would ensure that it didn’t  happen again, provided me with the free ticket and then ushered me out of his office door. I walked back to my car totally gobsmacked.

I arrived home still seething, threw my heels into the corner of the cupboard and  let it all out to my long suffering hubby.  ” How dare they”, I ranted.  “Wasted my time”, I moaned. ” Do they have any idea how long it takes to do my hair?” I gesticulated.  My hubby listened patiently and said, “Why don’t you write them a letter dear.”

And write a letter I did. And within the week I received a letter back from the manager. Written, I am sure, with that patronising smile firmly in place. And do you  know what it said – ” Thank you for your letter, I sympathise with your frustration. I have placed your letter on the staff notice board so that our staff can understand how you feel”

AND THAT WAS IT!!

AHHHHHHH – I am Desma Hunt, Im Deaf and I am going to hit someone!

* .. With thanks to Michael hose real life experience of captioned Cinema in Australia is what this piece is based on*